The Return

My husband had called my ex-lover for dinner. Yes, I couldn’t believe the turn of events, but that was that. Karun looked at me and said in a cherry voice, “Arrey, you knew him long time back. It’s not as if you still love him. Anyway, he works with me now, and is a part of the office gang. I had to call him. And I trust you yaar,” he grinned mischievously, “Juts don’t run away with him.” But Karun didn’t realize the position he had put me in. This was the one I classified as “the one who got away” and also the “one who fucked me over” and also the “one who excited me the most.” No, this couldn’t be possibly true, that I would have to play the role of the ex-lover who just didn’t care. Well, there was no way out. As I sat in front of the mirror in the evening, I tried to remember how I used to look when Sameer used to know me. I looked like a kid, and behaved liked a kid, maybe that’s why I had fallen in love with him. And what a deadly, life-altering love that was. It made me into this person I knew I wasn’t at all, now. So maybe, there was nothing to fear. I was a new person, and Sameer would know that we were strangers now. And the love we shared would remain buried

But as I opened the door to see his ruggedly handsome face, I almost fainted. “Rupa, what’s wrong,” he put his arm under my back and pulled me up. “You okay?” “Oh, you have shocked her!” guffawed Karun from the kitchen, “I know you know her as well as I do, but don’t give her a heart attack. She’s all I have.” I wished Karun would shut up. He was getting on my nerves. “So, how are you,” asked Sameer, “You look the same.” “I may look the same, but I am not the same,” I found myself saying. I could sense Sameer was smirking now, and I wondered, was I making him believe I still cared by acting like a moron. But I couldn’t be nice to him and act as if he didn’t matter anymore and that I was okay with this situation. But then part of that was true. He really didn’t matter anymore. But I did hate this situation. I had a good mind to teach Karun a lesson and give Sameer a major smooch. Then he would realize why calling an ex lover to a dinner was completely unacceptable.

Sameer was acting totally weird though. He kept following me around – “so who all are you in touch with from college” “Do you remember Ankita? I am dating her now” “ How is your mum keeping?” I wanted to scream, because every time he stood behind me asking me these inane questions, I felt turned on – it was a strange phenomenon. Was it because it was Sameer’s breath on my neck, or was it because here was a man who was not my husband? I wanted to turn around and slap him, or just lick his nose. God, I was totally going crazy.

Karun had been away from my piercing stare all evening. He mingled and stayed far away from me – he knew I was fuming. But as the night dwindled, and sameer and I stood on the balcony talking, I noticed Karun watching us from the other end of the room. I was past caring now. You called him, so now I was going to catch up. I laughed loudly, and even patted Sameer’s cheek. Karun was fidgeting now and in his stare I could feel anger. It’s all your doing, I thought. Sameer was now whispering in my ear, “Why don’t you meet me again. Next time, come to my house. You know there are many things to be said and done.”

Karun was standing behind us now and I wondered if he had heard what Sameer had said.  I hoped he had. He should know that I was still desirable to other people. He should know that if he couldn’t take me on a romantic holiday across Europe, some else will. I saw his eyes tremble with tears of anger, and I watched in slow motion as he turned Sameer around and hugged him. “So you having fun!” “Yes your wife is great company.”

“I know. I know,” Karun was nodding now. Sameer still looked terribly cocky, and I somehow saw him looming large over the small figure of my husband. “Next time, I am taking her out alone” he grinned and I saw Karun’s face resister a change. “Why not, as long as I get to take your girlfriend out!”

That night both of us couldn’t sleep. After the office gang left, Karun sulked and lay in bed pretending to be asleep. I wandered around cleaning the mess and then sat at the balcony and watched the sun rise. It was 7 am and was I turned around t head to the kitchen to make tea, Karun thrust a cup in front of me. “A little tea to clear your head – make your decision.”

“What decision,” I asked though I knew what he was talking about.

“Are you going to go to his home, or not, to talk about all the things left unsaid and do all the things left undone.”

“What do you think I will do?”

“I don’t know anymore, but I do know that I want you to get everything out of your system – everything about him. But I don’t know if I would want you back after that.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t want to be with you after that?” I was getting angry now.

“Well, the decision is yours.”

“But what is your decision, Karun?”

He looked at me and gave me a sad smile, “Keep in touch. Add me on Facebook”